<\/a> <\/sup> for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose”<\/em><\/p>\nAnyway, we wanted to share this online for 3 reasons…<\/p>\n
The first is because we want to encourage others who might be facing similar difficulties.\u00a0 It’s not easy to suffer this kind of loss.\u00a0 But a cord of many strands is not easily broken, and we want you to know that you are not alone!<\/p>\n
Another reason for sharing is to help people who might have friends and loved ones going through this kind of pain.\u00a0 We want you to be able to support your friends through their struggles and not put your foot in your mouth.\u00a0 Job’s friends said some extremely hurtful things in trying to give him advice through his loss.\u00a0 In situations like this, it’s often best not to make suggestions out of ignorance, but rather to demonstrate your love and support without added “helpful advice.”<\/p>\n
Finally, and most importantly, we wanted to share our experience because of something the apostle Paul wrote about.\u00a0 He mentioned a difficulty he dealt with and how he repeatedly prayed for relief from God…<\/p>\n
2 Cor. 12:8-10 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.\u00a0 Each time he said, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me.\u00a0 Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.<\/em><\/p>\nWe really have found God’s strength in the midst of our weakness.\u00a0 And since we have been praying that God would be glorified through this trial, we figured the more people who knew about what we have experienced, the more glory God would get because of it.\u00a0 So without further ado, this is what my wife wrote:<\/p>\n
A lot of dates stick out to me as important in my life.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always had a knack for remembering weird things, like dates, phone numbers, addresses, etc.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s helpful; other times people look at me like I\u2019m a freak for remembering such specifics.\u00a0 These dates have been on my mind lately as I process what is going on in my life:<\/p>\n
October 16, 2000 \u2013 the day I met my husband<\/strong><\/p>\nI don\u2019t really remember much about this day.\u00a0 I know it was fall break, I was home from college, and my friends were trying to set Frog up with someone else who was already dating.\u00a0 Needless to say, that didn\u2019t work out.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t make that big of an impression on me.\u00a0 He was just \u201cChris and Spring\u2019s friend.\u201d\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
May 15, 2002 \u2013 our first date<\/strong><\/p>\nI was working at Chili\u2019s one night when I saw a guy sitting a booth and smiling at me.\u00a0 I realized that I knew him and it was Frog!\u00a0 I went over to say hi and we chatted for a bit.\u00a0 Before he left, he found me to say goodbye and ask for my number.\u00a0 The next week we went on a picnic and to see the premiere of Star Wars Episode II at midnight.\u00a0 I pretty much knew I was hooked after that night, even if he did take me to see a ridiculously long movie in the middle of the night.<\/p>\n
May 10, 2003 \u2013 the day we got engaged<\/strong><\/p>\nIt was the night of Frog\u2019s \u201csurprise\u201d birthday party, and I was not expecting a proposal.\u00a0 We had been talking about marriage for awhile, but he told me he couldn\u2019t afford a ring (liar!) so I was patiently waiting.\u00a0 He wrote me a song, got some friends in on it, and proposed in front of many friends while I was cutting his cake.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t paying a lot of attention to him, thinking he was being silly, till I heard the words \u201cmarry me\u201d in the song and thought I should start listening!<\/p>\n
February 14, 2004 \u2013 our wedding day<\/strong><\/p>\nI couldn\u2019t wait for this day.\u00a0 Looking back, I wouldn\u2019t say it was a perfect wedding day, but I knew that didn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 All we wanted was to be married and begin our life together.\u00a0 I had no idea what that would entail.<\/p>\n
November 5, 2007 \u2013 the day we agreed to start trying to have a family<\/strong><\/p>\nFor as long as I can remember, all I EVER wanted to be was a mom.\u00a0 I know that when people would ask me when I was younger (and even in high school) what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said a mom.\u00a0 My own mom must have been a good example for me, because I wanted to do exactly what she did, stay home, raise kids, and even homeschool them.\u00a0 My parents forced me to go to college and get a higher education, so I decided to be a teacher in order to be prepared to teach my own children some day.<\/p>\n
Fast forward many years, I was married and I wanted to have a family.\u00a0 My husband had a lot of worries about being a father, so we put things off for awhile.\u00a0 We spent a lot of time avoiding the question, \u201cSo when are you going to have kids?\u201d (which I now realize is a very rude question).\u00a0 I told people that I never wanted to have kids so that they would leave me alone.\u00a0 I found out later that I had a lot of people convinced and they had given up hope of us ever having children.\u00a0 Frog eventually realized how important it really was to me to have children (apparently I had him fooled, too?).\u00a0 He came home one day and said he\u2019d been praying about it and was ready to start trying.\u00a0 I was so excited and sure we\u2019d have a kid within a year.\u00a0 I mean, who didn\u2019t?\u00a0 Everyone who wants kids gets them, right?<\/p>\n
March 29, 2008 \u2013 the day we lost our first child<\/strong><\/p>\nA couple days before this, I remember thinking that I would be so grateful for a child when I finally did get pregnant, since we had been trying for so long now.\u00a0 I was actually about seven weeks pregnant at the time and never knew it.\u00a0 Looking back, I should have realized, but I wasn\u2019t one to test obsessively and get my hopes up.\u00a0 I\u2019ll spare you the details, but that Saturday morning was spent in two emergency rooms, taking an ambulance between the two, and being examined by no fewer than three doctors.\u00a0 I found out that I was pregnant and, in the same breath, that I was having a miscarriage.\u00a0 I will NEVER forget that day.\u00a0 One, for the pain and sadness that I felt, and two, for the peace of God that I felt.\u00a0 Sure, I questioned why in the world this was happening to me, but at the same time I could see how God was working and taking care of me all day long.\u00a0 I was definitely devastated, and I can\u2019t even describe all the emotions I felt that day.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve had a miscarriage before, you can probably identify, but I know all experiences are different.\u00a0 Most are fortunate enough to not have to go to the emergency room and watch the doctor remove their baby and place him or her in a specimen cup.\u00a0 I have always trusted God so easily, and I admit that this experience shook me up and really tested my faith.\u00a0 I think I handled things well that day, but once the shock of what had just happened wore off, it got more difficult.<\/p>\n
October 27, 2008 \u2013 our first appointment with an infertility specialist<\/strong><\/p>\nSo a year went by and we still had not had a successful pregnancy.\u00a0 We tried to remain optimistic, but as that one year mark loomed before us, we figured there might be a problem.\u00a0 I watched as friend after friend became pregnant and gave birth.\u00a0 It seriously felt like every day I was hearing another announcement of someone\u2019s pregnancy or birth.\u00a0 We decided to see an infertility specialist to determine if there were any physical problems that needed to be dealt with.\u00a0 Going into the appointment, I wasn\u2019t sure what I hoped he\u2019d find.\u00a0 Either that everything was fine and I wouldn\u2019t need any treatment, or that he\u2019d find a cause and be able to fix it.\u00a0 After many, many tests it was determined that I have slightly low hormone levels, which would prevent me from carrying a baby if one were to implant.\u00a0 That was it.\u00a0 Everything else looked great for the both of us.\u00a0 We were sure that God had provided us with the solution to our problem\u2026really expensive, really loathsome medication. \u00a0We were grateful though, that we didn\u2019t need any surgeries or anything more serious done to fix a condition.\u00a0 It seemed like a simple solution, and the doctor all but promised us we\u2019d be pregnant by this Christmas (2008) or have a baby by next Christmas (2009).<\/p>\n
October 26, 2009 \u2013 our last appointment with an infertility specialist<\/strong><\/p>\nOne year later, almost to the day, we found ourselves back in the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 The medication hadn\u2019t worked, unless its primary purpose was to drain the life out of me and exhaust me.\u00a0 It was awesome at doing that.\u00a0 We had been through so many ups and downs.\u00a0 Our friends were now having their second kid in the time that we had even been trying to have one.\u00a0 We dealt with a lot of people\u2019s well-meaning advice, which was actually just hurtful.\u00a0 In case you were wondering, there are no statistics that prove if you just adopt a baby you\u2019ll get pregnant.\u00a0 You also cannot just take a vacation and magically come home pregnant.\u00a0 Also, if you stop trying, you can\u2019t get pregnant either.\u00a0 Because, well, you need to\u2026never mind.\u00a0 And apparently we should just be grateful for the children that we have in our lives, even if they aren\u2019t ours.\u00a0 We stood by and learned of our students and youth group members getting pregnant and having babies.\u00a0 It\u2019s really easy to wonder where is God in all of this, when nothing seems fair.\u00a0 The infertility specialist has said that we make him look bad, because there is absolutely no reason why we should not be pregnant yet.\u00a0 Everything is working as it should be.\u00a0 At this doctor\u2019s appointment, we said we were ready to start pursuing other methods of having a baby, which we had discussed before.\u00a0 The doctor decides to tell us that Frog needs blood tests done that he\u2019s already had before, which run between $600 and $800, and we can\u2019t have any procedures done until they do the same tests.\u00a0 And that I also need to have a bajillion more tests done (I\u2019m really surprised I have any blood left at this point).\u00a0 At least my tests are covered by insurance, but since we didn\u2019t find out about them until now, we can\u2019t move forward with conceiving a baby.\u00a0 Then we found out that the doctor\u2019s office doesn\u2019t do any procedures in December, so we are looking at next year before we can get anywhere.\u00a0 I can\u2019t even get refills on the medication I have been taking for an entire year until these tests are done.\u00a0 To top it all off, the one test that Frog has had done, they lost the results of and he will need to do it again unless he can come up with them.\u00a0 We left feeling more frustrated than ever.<\/p>\n
Today \u2013 where I\u2019m at and what I\u2019ve learned<\/strong><\/p>\nI am SO thankful to have God in my life.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how in the world I would have gotten through these past two years without Him.\u00a0 He has given me peace and reassurance and hope that I cannot describe.\u00a0 I have definitely had periods of time where I felt the opposite of all that.\u00a0 I remember one time I was unhappy about something and Frog told me to pray about it.\u00a0 My response was, \u201cLike that\u2019s going to do any good.\u201d\u00a0 As soon as I said it, I couldn\u2019t believe that I had.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t believe that I had let myself become so cynical about the power of prayer, just because God hadn\u2019t yet answered my prayer in the way I wanted Him to.\u00a0 I\u2019ve wanted to go back and start over and erase everything that had happened on this infertility journey, just so I could get my way.\u00a0 Would that make me a happier person?\u00a0 Probably not.<\/p>\n
I know that God lets NOTHING go to waste.\u00a0 He will not allow something bad to happen to me that He will not use for good.\u00a0 Some days I find it easy to trust Him, and other times I have to CHOOSE to trust Him.\u00a0 I let myself get worried and worked up over the circumstances I\u2019m in, and I forget who\u2019s really in charge.\u00a0 In my heart, I really only want what God wants.\u00a0 If God wants us to have a large family, then I am all for it.\u00a0 If He wants us to never experience parenthood, then I KNOW I will be ok.\u00a0 He is so much greater than I am and sees so much more than I can.\u00a0 He knows what\u2019s best for me, and if I\u2019m willing to let Him, He\u2019ll make it happen.<\/p>\n
Would I go back and change anything in the two years we\u2019ve been trying to have a family, if I could?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I wish so much that our first child would not have died.\u00a0 I would have a one year old today.\u00a0 I imagine how life would be different and what he or she would have looked like.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking forward to meeting him or her in Heaven someday.\u00a0 But, as weird as it sounds, I\u2019ve become grateful for the infertility.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want it to last forever, but I\u2019ve learned so much and grown so much that I have a hard time seeing it as an evil thing all around.<\/p>\n
It has forced me to depend on God.\u00a0 I can do nothing without Him.\u00a0 Well, I can, but it doesn\u2019t work out.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned more about God\u2019s character, love, and faithfulness to us.<\/p>\n
I am more sensitive to others in my same situation.\u00a0 I cannot even describe how wonderful the friendships are to me of those who are experiencing or have experienced infertility themselves.\u00a0 I don\u2019t ask stupid questions or make rude comments when people don\u2019t have children, because I know the pain that it causes.\u00a0 I believe God has used me to reach out to others who are hurting from infertility, and He has put others in my life when I was the one hurting.<\/p>\n
I have learned about forgiveness.\u00a0 This is because of the stupid questions and rude comments that I hear from people.\u00a0 Most of the time they are unintentional, but if I were to hold a grudge against someone because of their ignorance, I would only be hurting myself.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t think it was possible to love my husband even more than I already did, but I do.\u00a0 We have grown so close through this experience.\u00a0 He has been my rock, my strength, my voice of reason at times.\u00a0 I love knowing that he is behind me 100%.\u00a0 I am so thankful to God for giving me a husband who is incredibly understanding and patient.\u00a0 Part of the reason this is so difficult is because I know what a wonderful father he would be, and it hurts to not be able to see it in reality.<\/p>\n
What started as frustration after all of last week\u2019s appointments, turned into another, \u201cOk, God, I see what you\u2019re doing here\u201d moment.\u00a0 He is always faithful and always sustains me, even when I feel like there\u2019s no way out.\u00a0 I was so discouraged thinking we would have no chance of getting pregnant till next year sometime.\u00a0 Then I began to think that maybe God is the one who caused all of hassle with last minute tests and insurance changes.\u00a0 Maybe He is trying to strip away any possibility for doctors to get any glory from this.\u00a0 I hope and pray that this month is when God decides to show up and bless us with a child.\u00a0 I can say that it will all be because of Him, because we can\u2019t use any medical interventions to help us.\u00a0 All along I\u2019ve prayed that no matter what happens that God will use our situation to bring glory to His name and to bless and encourage others.\u00a0 I think now would be a perfect time for that!\u00a0 But, even if He doesn\u2019t decide to do that, I will still love Him, still serve Him, and still praise Him.\u00a0 He has been too good to me to do otherwise.<\/p>\n
Feel free to leave any comments, if you will be praying for us, or if this has encouraged you at all, or if you just want to say hi.\u00a0 Thank you for reading and thinking of us.\u00a0 We appreciate your prayers so much and know that they have supported us.<\/p>\n
***Check out the update to this story HERE<\/a>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I wanted to share something that my beautiful and wonderful wife wrote about recently.\u00a0 We’ve been dealing with infertility now for 2 years.\u00a0 And that started with the most heartbreaking experience of my entire life…watching the death of my own child.\u00a0 I don’t post this for sympathy.\u00a0 God has not only helped both of us […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[21,102,22,106,48,18,59],"class_list":["post-311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-day-in-the-life","tag-blessings","tag-friendship","tag-gods-blessings","tag-losing-a-child","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-suffering"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=311"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":313,"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311\/revisions\/313"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pastorfrog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}